The past few days I’ve felt like something has lifted. Like things were finally shifting in my universe and in my life. I feel stronger. At least I did….
Then universe took a big Ol’ swinging punch at me this evening. Something I thought I had dealt with. Something I had sought advice on and done what was suggested and then heard nothing more: tonight I heard the more.
What do we do with that?
How do we stay strong and rise above the blows we take emotionally? If you’re anything like me, you feel it physically too.
Nope, no one actually punched me. It’s ok, I’m safe. But I don’t feel safe. I feel threatened. I feel frightened. Yes, these are just feelings. They’re not ‘doings’ or ‘beings’ but feelings. I am not physically threatened, yet my heart beats like I am. I’m not physically in danger, and yet the fear I feel makes my skin cold and my fingers cramp.
My head hears the words that ‘I am enough’. And these recent days I’ve been feeling it, walking it, rocking it and tonight….dropped it, fumbled it, failed it.
I want to encourage you that you’re brave, you’re perfect as you are, you have what it takes to get through this next hurdle too and….yes, I don’t seem to be able to do it for myself. I will try. You know I will try. The depth to which I might sink, will be just as dark as other depths but I already know I have risen from such dark depths before. With that knowledge, I have a glimmer of hope that I will rise again.
The system is really rather stuffed and I will fight again. Even just writing that, I doubt myself. But somewhere deep inside, I must believe it or I wouldn’t have written it. Somewhere, I know she’s there. That brave girl. She’s hiding pretty darned well right now. But hopefully, no; assuredly, she will come out of hiding. She will stand strong. She will face the giant. Even if all she has is a slingshot and some smooth stones of truth. That giant can fall. There is a deeper truth. A deeper magic.
Tonight I will try to sleep. If you’re the praying kind, feel free to send some up and out for me. If you vibe or send strength and love, bring it on! I’m looking for the deeper magic, my friends. Whatever you think you might have access to, send a little my way please. There is a giant to fight and I’m pretty little by comparison. Surely government departments can see the truth and light too? Even if it’s just little ol’ me doing the fighting.
Thanks in advance.
2 thoughts on “I feel a shift in the universe…..oh, you were just adjusting your stance to punch me again.”
You can do this. Always remember that day by day you are teaching your sons how to overcome and deal with adversity. Model the behavior you’d like them to have, and they will bless you forever when they have a battle. Stay on target. “Nevertheless, she persisted.” Dig down. Head up. Shoulders back. GO.
Thank you Peggy
I’m so grateful for your encouragement. I’m sure if I found myself a T-Rex suit to put on, I’d be up for anything.
Blessings and big hugs to you